Thursday, May 10, 2007

Seasons of Change

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
Anne Bradstreet
It became painfully obvious to me last week that I was moving, but without purpose. I was going through the motions, but without emotion. I was doing, but not getting things done.

I had outrun the place that God had called me to be.

It's an awful feeling, the feeling that you've left God behind and are going it on your own. It isn't a comfortable feeling by any means. It's downright scary.

The good thing is, it didn't take long before I realized where I was and what I had done. I was able to stop before I had wandered off too far. I was able to call out and wait.

And I wait. In a season where I still feel empty.

Although, I know that I am no longer alone, I still do not feel full of passion and purpose. I hear God telling me to keep moving even though I definitely don't feel like going.

He is there and I am listening.

I know that we go through every season for a purpose. We do not suffer through times of adversity without the benefit of clearly being able to rejoice during times of prosperity. We have to have the rain to see the rainbow. The seasons have to change.

I know that God will use this season for my benefit. I know that, if I let Him, He will shape and mold me in ways that make me better equipped to worship and serve Him.

I am not comfortable with feeling devoid of passion, but I pray I do not try to escape this season of emptiness so quickly that I do not take the time to hear what God is speaking to me.

I truly believe that God is telling me to keep moving, but to stop trying to lead and instead turn and follow.
"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry"
Psalm 40:1 (NIV)

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