Judge Not

I know it, that I judge others and that what I fear most is being judged by others. There is irony in that, but I don't think it's irony that God finds the least bit funny.

How can I be so sure that this lacks all humor in God's eyes? Because God spoke through Matthew saying, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

You hypocrite! How much more accurate can it get? I am judging others yet I do not expect the same? I am judging others when I have fallen so short myself? Have I been given a sliding scale by which to measure the greatest of sin? No! There is no such thing! God does not measure our sins as greater or less then, but as equal, regardless of what they are. Jesus did not die on the cross for only me...he died for those that I so unfairly judge as well!

So why can I not remember that? Why can I not remember that God so loved the whole world that He gave His only Son. He didn't just love some of us, like I do. He loved ALL of us...equally...without judgement! He died for ALL of us...equally...without judgement!

Why then do I continue to judge?

I need to commit to memory Matthew 7:2, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

So when I heap out cupfulls upon cupfulls of judgement upon my neighbor, what more then can I expect then to be judged the same way? I am garaunteed no less! I can expect no less! I deserve no less!

God In All Things

Have you ever had to put aside your need to be liked in order to speak the truth? Are you willing to give up a friendship in order to keep your integrity? How have you escaped the people-pleasing trap?

People pleasing may be the special territory of women. We’re so relational, we often do everything we can to preserve a connection, even at honesty’s expense. Instead of telling someone the hard truth or making a decision that may hurt someone, we backpedal, clam up, turn on the charm—anything to avoid being the bad girl. But I’m finding my people-pleasing ways not only hurt me, they hurt the people whose feelings I’m trying to save.

Here’s the thing with being a people-pleaser: It isn’t really about “people.” It’s about me and my fear that someone will think less of me if I’m not agreeable. It’s about my incessant need to have people think I’m swell.

I didn't write the above passages, I read them here (http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2007/06/i_aim_to_please_1.html), but I can certainly relate to what was written.

I have an inate desire to be all thing to all people. I cringe at the thought of not being liked. And the oddest part is that I even hate being disliked by people who I don't like. How is that rational? What sense does that even make? Why would I care what those people think of me? Yet somehow when someone doesn't like me, I feel as if I've failed.
I have failed to make them see who I am. I have failed to make them see what I believe in. I have failed to make my light shine.

And I am realizing that more often then not, I am so paralyzed by this fear of failing, that I don't allow people to truly get to know who I am or to learn what I believe in or to see my light shine. I sit quiet, reserved, unassuming, fading into the woodwork, trying hard just not to be noticed.
Somehow believing that if people do not know me, then they can't disagree with me. They can't criticize who I am.

That willingness to risk scorn takes serious internal strength and self-awareness that are hard to come by. But we’re God’s daughters, and we’re connected to the ultimate source of strength: “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

I truly do want to be strong in the Lord. I want my light to shine so bright that others WANT to know me. And I want to be strong enough to get past my own fears and allow them to.
I want to open up, be totally transparent...always! And not just after I've tested the waters long enough to know that they aren't a danger. I want to trust God wholly and completely and jump into every new relationship and situation head first with Godly reckless abandon. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit so that there is no room for fear or for doubt.

I do not want to be all things to all people, but I do want God to be all things to me!