God In All Things

Have you ever had to put aside your need to be liked in order to speak the truth? Are you willing to give up a friendship in order to keep your integrity? How have you escaped the people-pleasing trap?

People pleasing may be the special territory of women. We’re so relational, we often do everything we can to preserve a connection, even at honesty’s expense. Instead of telling someone the hard truth or making a decision that may hurt someone, we backpedal, clam up, turn on the charm—anything to avoid being the bad girl. But I’m finding my people-pleasing ways not only hurt me, they hurt the people whose feelings I’m trying to save.

Here’s the thing with being a people-pleaser: It isn’t really about “people.” It’s about me and my fear that someone will think less of me if I’m not agreeable. It’s about my incessant need to have people think I’m swell.

I didn't write the above passages, I read them here (http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2007/06/i_aim_to_please_1.html), but I can certainly relate to what was written.

I have an inate desire to be all thing to all people. I cringe at the thought of not being liked. And the oddest part is that I even hate being disliked by people who I don't like. How is that rational? What sense does that even make? Why would I care what those people think of me? Yet somehow when someone doesn't like me, I feel as if I've failed.
I have failed to make them see who I am. I have failed to make them see what I believe in. I have failed to make my light shine.

And I am realizing that more often then not, I am so paralyzed by this fear of failing, that I don't allow people to truly get to know who I am or to learn what I believe in or to see my light shine. I sit quiet, reserved, unassuming, fading into the woodwork, trying hard just not to be noticed.
Somehow believing that if people do not know me, then they can't disagree with me. They can't criticize who I am.

That willingness to risk scorn takes serious internal strength and self-awareness that are hard to come by. But we’re God’s daughters, and we’re connected to the ultimate source of strength: “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

I truly do want to be strong in the Lord. I want my light to shine so bright that others WANT to know me. And I want to be strong enough to get past my own fears and allow them to.
I want to open up, be totally transparent...always! And not just after I've tested the waters long enough to know that they aren't a danger. I want to trust God wholly and completely and jump into every new relationship and situation head first with Godly reckless abandon. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit so that there is no room for fear or for doubt.

I do not want to be all things to all people, but I do want God to be all things to me!